The (figurative) towel

When is enough, enough? I feel like I should be dragged (likely kicking and screaming and swearing) to some sort of gamers anonymous meeting. I just keep buying new stuff. So, here it is:

My name is The Ego, and I have a videogame buying problem.

Phew, now that that’s off my chest – I feel a hell of a lot better. Well, not really, but at least I can feel the acceptance flowing through me. And, I’m sure, since you’re reading this, you’re probably looking over at your wall, your entertainment center, or whatever you keep your mountain of games on – that you’re in the same boat as me.

So I guess the question we have to ask ourselves, is, is there a breaking point? Is there a moment (I ask because if there is, the line is so far away, I can’t see it) where we just say “enough”? I don’t know if that point will ever come for me. It may. It may. But frankly – I’m not sure I really want it to.

I think the problem that I’m starting to see is that getting that new game – whether it’s something that I’ve been anticipating playing, or some new game that just excites me in some way that I wasn’t expecting, I just don’t get that same feeling I used to get. I’m starting to feel a bit like this:

Yup.

That thrill, instead, is the replaced by a feeling of creating a real burden. Am I just adding to my pile of games to play, consuming because I am in fact, just a consumer? Or, am I just fooling myself into thinking “Yea, at some point I will get through all of these games”…I want to play them, I do. I like to think, and I’m sure my wife would agree, that I’m pretty good when it comes to controlling my spending and not wasting my money. I’ll reveal a little of my “personal” life: I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs and I rarely drink. So buying games is really my one vice. When I look at it like that, it’s a lot easier to stomach the concept of spending money on games (especially, like I said in an earlier post, if you shop smart like I do).

But should I throw it in? Should we all? Or, at the very least, is there a line in the sand? And to quote one of my favourite movies “across this line, you do not“. Trust me when I ask this, I do not take the question lightly. Not in these hallowed halls. I just wonder if there will be a day where I stand in front of a rack of games and just say: “Naw, I don’t want any of this”. I highly doubt it’ll happen – it certainly doesn’t seem to be one of those things on the horizon anyway.

Part of me thinks that my compulsion, and inevitable feeling of dread, spans from my being a collector at heart. As a kid, it was things like Marvel trading cards. You would hunt and trade and buy and such and eventually, you’d reach the end. You’d have a complete set. Gaming isn’t like that – but it kind of is. You don’t come to a point (at least, I don’t think so) where you say “Yep, I have them all”. It’s a continual art/consumer project. Which isn’t to say I use that term in a pejorative sense. It’s great that there are people out there who make a living masterly crafting these games. I wish (on a daily basis) that I was one of them.

So to anyone reading out there, don’t think that this is me giving up. It’s not really me calling the cease-fire. I want the games to keep coming – I do – I swear. All I’m asking is, will there be an end to it all? I hope not. This is one addiction I can stand to support indefinitely.

– The Ego

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