I couldn’t just let well enough alone…

Well, I was going to lay off of Nintendo for a while. I’ve been bashing the big N pretty hard lately. But then I saw this. Make sure you watch it to the end:

I think that about sums it up.

Nintendo has officially become the snake-oil salesmen of the videogame era. They’re out there peddling their wares without a care in the world for the end-user. I think, probably from the beginning, Nintendo had good intentions at heart. But let’s face it. Now, they’re just out there, manufacturing gimmick after gimmick to the point that the whole thing has become a seven-layer salad of stupid. If Dante were resurrected in the 21st century, I think he could write a new epic parable for negotiating the levels of Nintendo. Yes, I just intimated that Nintendo is the equivalent of Hell for those of you not well versed in 13th century Italian poets. And at it’s cold, desolate heart is the three-headed beast: Reggie, Iwata and Miyamoto. Each seemingly more disconnected from reality than the last. And in their mouths (sorry, I really like Dante and very rarely get to reference it): All of your favourite franchises screaming for sweet release, either death or literal release (dates).

Their head-space is so cluttered with thoughts of new hardware that they can’t even see the big picture any more. I’ve seen Reggie making statements about how VR isn’t any fun. Not that I disagree (though only time will tell if I’m wrong), but from a company who’s entire reason for being currently is coming up with wacky tech concepts to sell hardware, while completely forgetting that they need titles to push sales of said hardware.

Pumping out various Zelda re-masters will only fend off the hordes for so long guys. I loved Wind Waker, Ocarina and Majora’s Mask, but guess what? I spent 400$+taxes to get a new Zelda at some point. Just a heads up – I expected that some point to be before you release another new console.

I was reading an article on Polygon not long ago, and I came across this gem:

“The key to Nintendo’s success, Fils-Aime said, isn’t just to make good games, but to help people understand why they’re good.”

Really? That’s what you think Nintendo’s job is? Out of curiosity, do you see Sony or Microsoft or any software developing studio having to go out of their way to explain the merit of their games? And, before the trolls get-a-bitin’, I’m not referencing the E word, store tech demos or CES. I can’t remember the last time that Bethesda or (formerly) Irrational Games had to sit down and hold the gamer’s hand and say “Don’t you see what makes our games so great? It’s X”. Hasn’t happened yet. Because, and hold your gasps if you can Nintendo – most games are sold on their own merit. Well, the good ones anyway.

I wish I could have ten minute to talk to these guys, with the bullshit filters off. Not because I want to have an interview – I have seen the kind of propaganda they pump out in interviews. They would have made Goebbels proud. I just would love to be able to ask them what they think the average gamer is looking for, and how their current business strategy is making that happen for them.

Because so far, all I see is kitschy toys produced “for children” to create a secondary market to the benefit only of those sad enough to be scalping them, hardware that is outdated and, once again, gimmicky and games that reflect that attitude *cough* Star Fox/Metroid *cough*.

I swear to you Nintendo – if you actually produce what your fans are asking for, they will buy it. I’d buy three copies of a 3D Wii U Pokemon just to make sure they continue to make them. I really would. Pokemon U for everyone that Christmas!

That being said, I’ll leave N alone for now…

– The Ego


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