E3 – The series

I’ve been extremely impressed thus far-seeing the new game line up for the last quarter of 2015 and the possibilities of 2016. I’ll likely type something up about them later. Expect at least a moderate amount of gushing all over Todd Howard. I was debating a pin-up calendar with him on it, but that seemed a tad much.

So far as this post goes, I’m going to scrape the bottom of the barrel before I get to the good stuff.

I’ve come up with Nintendo’s new ad line: Nintendo – Why bother?

Seriously though, why bother?

1. They didn’t even bother showing up for E3 this year. Which, frankly, was a good idea. They probably realised the expense of actually flying people to LA was more than they’d likely make off of the “games” on offer for the foreseeable.

2. How can Nintendo be name dropping a new console already? They’ve barely been able to scrape together a first party line up for the Wii U yet.

Be honest with your fans, Nintendo. You don’t know what to do any more. Much like a person whose years are starting to show, you amble this way and that, making claims and assertions and trying to plan where to go next, but you forget where you left your dentures.

You know you’re hurting when the best looking game you announced was a new Mario tennis.

The current business plan, so far as I could devise it is this: Continuously shoot yourself in the foot and make money doing it. I know this is coming off as some pretty strong hate, so let me preface the rest of this post by saying: I own a Wii U, Wii, N 64, NES and varying iterations of the handheld consoles dating as far back as to the original Gameboy.

love Nintendo. Nothing would make me happier than to see them step up and hit Microsoft and Sony like Ed Norton beat Jared Leto in Fight Club. But seriously, they’re clearly out of ideas and the excuses are getting boring. All we can expect from first party titles now is one Zelda game per generation and a handful of luke-warm Mario games. Well, that is, if you ignore the re-hashed games, one “new” concept and then a Zelda title where dress-up and stacking is the best they could come up with.

Star Fox Zero is possibly the least original, worst looking and outright dumb idea Nintendo has come up with. Granted, it had moments where all I could think about was Star Fox 64. And by that, I mean the graphics looked like someone dug up footage from ’97. Not that I was expecting a lot out of it, I figured it’d end up being a single-player reboot (and I wasn’t exactly let down), but come on! So, the Arwing can turn into some sort of quasi-mech? For shame. The 64 version had so much more going for it.

Here’s a thought: Go online. Hire some people to do it for you if you don’t want to do it yourselves. See what fans want. I mean, you’ve been teasing Zelda for years now. And with the name-drop of NX, chances are we’ll see this title released just before the launch of the next generation console. Which, would surprise me, except for you know, Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword.

I’ll end it on this: Want to make some money, real money, and keep fans happy? Give us a Wii U full Pokemon game, the kind of game people have been wanting for years and stop hiding behind the rhetoric. If you really don’t want to “double dip” from your console sales, then stop making so many re-makes of all of your games.

The “Pokemon needs to be a social game” argument needs to stop too. If you really cared about that, then why can I trade with strangers in Bangalore?

On the upside: Nintendo, you’ve only got room to go up for 2016.

 

P. S – I did like the puppets.


 

– The Ego

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